But Now
by stand your ground
Summary: Post-Hogwarts. Ginny leaves Harry and finds herself lost in a way. A piece of her is missing. Who will she turn to when she feels at her lowest?
1. So Far Away

_Disclaimer: Nothing that seems familiar belongs to me._

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Ginny Weasley thought that she'd never get away from Harry Potter and his constant following. She believed that she'd be forever trapped in his shadow as the quiet girlfriend. She felt like there'd be no escape for her if she stood by and watched him smile for his photo ops and save the day like the hero he was born to be. 

There was one thing, though, that scared Ginny more than anything else. Harry would find someone better. It wouldn't be hard considering that girls were always throwing themselves at him. She didn't think of herself as gorgeous and seeing those beautiful women always left her a little insecure.

She loved Harry. She always had. They'd been dating a year, but Harry hadn't ever said it. She wondered if he ever had time to even think about their relationship. His job as an Auror and the Order kept him extremely busy. Did he have time to love her?

Ginny sat next to Harry in the Order meeting that day and just listened. Moody was being paranoid as usual and Remus was trying to mediate the two. Tonks was changing her hair. She had grown tired of the pink and was now moving on to a lemon yellow color. Ron and Hermione were paying too much attention to each other to notice anything off key. Kingsley looked thoughtful, but said nothing. This series of events had become quite common since the second war had begun.

Harry stopped debating and huffed angrily in response to Moody's words about Bellatrix Lestrange. They thought that they had killed her in an attack on Hogsmeade led by Death Eaters, but recent reports had spotted her in Knockturn Alley. Harry always got touchy when Lestrange came up, but he was even more infuriated by the thought that the evil murderer could still be alive.

Ginny knew he was upset with Moody and everything. She reached out her hand gently and squeezed his just to give him some support, but he pulled away without even glancing at her. Ginny's face fell and she felt hot tears welling up in her eyes. He really didn't care. She stood up slowly and walked to the door, ignoring the calls of Ron and Hermione. Grabbing her cloak, she prepared to apparate when a pair of strong arms pulled her aside.

"Where are you going?" She looked up into the blazing green eyes that she knew all too well. Harry was frowning at her.

"No one needs me. I thought that I should leave if there's no point in me being here," Ginny said slowly as she watched his frown deepen.

"I need you," he said firmly. His eyes were piercing right into her soul. Somewhere inside of herself, she found her voice.

"No, you don't. If you did, you wouldn't be so distant," she answered. She could feel her cheeks burning as he bent down and kissed her lightly. Those kisses used to send butterflies hurtling through her stomach, but now they were empty. His touch was cold.

"I've been busy is all," he said grimly. A bit of candlelight reflected off his glasses as he placed a strand of her hair behind her ear. That used to feel like such an affectionate and sweet gesture, but now it was just annoying.

"I don't see you anymore, Harry. That's really saying something, too, considering we share a flat. Don't you want to spend time with me?" Her eyes began to flood with tears again. Tears that she didn't want him to see, but he did. She couldn't hide anything from him.

"You know I do," he responded, wrapping an arm around her slim waist. She shuddered at his touch, but he didn't notice.

"Knowing isn't like seeing. I don't need promises, Harry. I can't be with you anymore," Ginny whispered against his neck as salty tears rolled down her cheeks.

"What? Why are you doing this here, Ginny? You're just being emotional," he said softly into her auburn hair.

"I mean it, Harry. I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend. I'll pack my things tonight and go stay with Mum and Dad at the Burrow. I can't live a lie," she sobbed, clinging to his shirt.

Harry let go of Ginny and stepped back, appraising her. She couldn't leave him. He needed her and she needed him. She was going crazy. It must have been that awful desk job she had at the Ministry or those gossipy friends of hers. She wouldn't leave him. He wouldn't let himself get hurt like that. "You know what? That's a great idea. I don't need you anyways. Go find some other bloke to bother. I'm sick of your blubbering," he lied. With that he swung around and with a swish of robes he was back at the meeting.

Ginny stood there stunned. His words cut her like knives. His coldness was unusual and it hurt. Soon enough, she heard him arguing with Moody again and realized that he wouldn't miss her. With that thought in mind, she apparated out of 12 Grimmauld Place and into a new chapter of her life.


	2. Not Where You're Supposed to Be

_Disclaimer: Not mine._

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Ginny stood in the center of her living room. She moved to the couch and put her head in her hands. She didn't cry now. All she could think about was Harry. He'd been so mean to her. His eyes were blazing and she could feel his anger searing through her heart. Or was it sadness? Ginny knew that he was a proud person and would never admit to his weaknesses. She just wished that he could have given her a reason to stay. A promise. Even an empty promise would have done, but he just gave up. Giving up was something that was not common for Harry Potter. 

Sighing, she swept a finger along the coffee table. A gray layer of dust could be seen. She frowned to herself. Her flat gave off the appearance that no one had been in living there at all. It was a nice apartment and Ginny and Harry had found it for a good price, but their schedules often put them out of the place. Well, at least Harry.

Getting up, she shuffled to their bedroom and peered into the room before entering. The place felt like a distant memory; one that she didn't want to remember. The bed was made, but the covers were wrinkled still and looked used.

Moving in awkwardly, she walked to the dresser on the left side of the room. She looked at the random items scattered on its surface and grinned. In the front of everything sat a picture of her and Harry smiling and laughing with each other. It was a reminder of happier times. The times when her heart swelled at the very sight of him and her knees buckled at his butterfly kisses. Next to that was an old mirror that Sirius had given him sometime before he died. Harry had never discussed it much with Ginny, but she knew it hurt him more than anything to think of Sirius. Beyond those lay a dragon tooth necklace from Charlie, an old Quidditch magazine with Oliver Wood smiling from the cover, and random newspaper clippings about people she had known at Hogwarts. She kept in contact with all of the people in Dumbledore's Army and the Order, but she rarely spoke to any of the others. One of the clippings was about Michael Corner and Cho Chang getting married. Ginny sighed and moved to the closet. She didn't want to remember everyone else's happiness.

There really weren't that many things she owned as she was beginning to see. A few old cloaks, some muggle clothes, and other random knickknacks were about it. She had never been a materialistic person considering how many siblings she had, but she liked to think she had more than just those few things. She stuffed all of her things into a bag and took one last longing look around her home.

The place didn't have a warm feeling like the Burrow did. The walls were blank and white, seemingly drained of all life. The sofa was sagging from nights she had fallen asleep waiting for Harry to come home. The refrigerator was empty and the stove was unused because they never had time to eat at the table together where a vase of dead and wilted flowers sat in the center. The place was quieter and more eerie than a graveyard and Ginny wanted nothing more than to leave and find peace somewhere else.

Looking down at her feet with a defeated attitude and a gut-wrenching sadness, Ginny thought of what she would tell her family when she showed up with her bag in their kitchen. Her mother would probably have a heart attack, but would just be glad to have one of her children back in the house. As for her father, he might just ask too many questions and that was something that she would rather not deal with. Was there anywhere else that she could go? Not really. Everyone she knew was a close friend of Harry and she didn't want to explain anything to them either. Maybe the best thing to do would be to enjoy herself, have a few drinks, and just stay at the Leaky Cauldron for the night. Yes, that was as good a plan as any...especially since alcohol was involved.

Ginny shouldered her bag carelessly and apparated to the Leaky Cauldron.

* * *

Harry was feeling a twinge of guilt as he thought about Ginny. Ron was eyeing him constantly over Hermione's shoulder and he knew he would have some explaining to do. Moody was still being paranoid as ever, so he just allowed himself to zone out and forget what was going on. He had been cruel to Ginny to save face. He had been bitter and mean to her and all she had been was honest with him. He knew that she wouldn't tell Ron about what went on between them, but he was sure that, being her brother, he would figure out the obvious. 

Maybe if he just talked to her about everything he might not lose her. That's what made him act that way. He didn't want her to leave him, so to save himself the feelings of loss and sadness he just went off. What he'd done, though, was dug himself into an even deeper hole and every second that ticked by he felt the need to get out stronger and a way to get out harder. He needed Ginny there for him. She was always there.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a deep grunt and looked over to see Moody glaring at him. "You know, I don't talk just to hear myself speak," the retired Auror said irately as his magical eye bulged slightly.

"Nobody's out to get us as you seem to think. Your dark detectors must not be working correctly. We haven't found anything in our department to suggest what you're saying," Harry answered flatly.

"Constant vigilance!" Moody shouted, causing the entire room to turn and stare even though they were accustomed to his regular outbursts.

"I think that you're starting to lose it," Harry stated, crossing his arms over his chest and appraising the scarred veteran before him.

"I think that you need to learn to respect your elders, boy," Moody growled dangerously low.

Harry didn't say anything to Moody, but turned to Shacklebot instead. "Are we done here?" he asked rudely.

"Yes, I guess so," Kingsley replied and with that everyone went and got their cloaks and apparated out.

Harry stood next to the curtained portrait of Mrs. Black and thought for a moment. Ginny said that she would be going to the Burrow. Maybe he could go over there and talk to her. She had to listen. He was sure that if she did, they could make up and move on. So, with that he apparated out of the renovated 12 Grimmauld Place with a quiet 'pop.'

* * *

Ginny walked into the Leaky Cauldron to see the normal characters there. The odd and old, young and out of place all sat enjoying the little tavern. Waltzing up to the bar, she saw Tom, the landlord and barkeep, who gave her a friendly toothless grin. 

"And what will you be having this evening, Miss Weasley?" He beamed at her and she smiled back, taken in by his kind nature.

"I'll have...hmmm...fire whiskey, Tom," Ginny grinned.

"Long day, huh?" Tom asked.

"More like a long year," Ginny answered sadly. Tom handed her a mug of Ogden's and left to tend to another customer.

Ginny left the bar and sat at a small table in a darker corner of the room. She sat and watched some of the people in the place and wondered why she had never noticed some of the things she now saw. The gateway to Diagon Alley had always seemed such an enchanting place, but now she saw some of the shared sadness and grief that she had been blind to before. A lot of people came here to get away from what was bothering them and that was apparent to her now. She looked down into her mug and swooshed the liquid around absentmindedly as so many things were beginning to become clear.

"Well, well, if it isn't one of the little blood traitors," a voice from above her said.

She looked up into the steely gray eyes of none other than Draco Malfoy who she had hated for years. For some reason, she smiled at him weakly and said nothing at all as she returned to looking at her drink. The fiery Weasley spirit was beginning to die.

Draco scratched his head in a confused fashion and looked her over. She wasn't the same redhead he had known in school. She looked different. Her brown eyes weren't as bright and she seemed more passive. He knew that she'd been dating Potter for a long time, so why wasn't she giving him hell? "Weasley, what in Merlin's name is wrong with you?" Draco sneered at her.

Taking a sip of her whiskey, she looked up at him. She knew he was a Death Eater. She would be in trouble if she even thought about talking with him. "Sod off, Malfoy," she said firmly while averting her eyes.

This only encouraged him to harass her further. "How's our dear Scarhead doing?" He smirked at her victoriously as her face darkened. He knew that he had struck some kind of a cord.

"I recall telling you to sod off, Malfoy," she snapped.

At this, Draco sat down and planted his own mug on the table. He could see that he was getting to her and he was enjoying it. "What? Did Potty up and find someone else? One of his screaming fans possibly?"

"No," Ginny answered, looking him square in the eye.

"Hmmm...Did his ego finally get the best of him? He decide you're not good enough?" He was now just making things up off the top of his head to upset her and he was. Her face was turning a dark crimson as she held back her anger. "Or did he finally come out of the closet and tell you he doesn't like women?"

That was it. Three strikes. Ginny couldn't take it anymore and before she knew it, she had thrown her drink right into Malfoy's face. He sputtered angrily and wiped at his eyes, sending her a vicious stare. Ginny returned it and left the table heading for the bar.

"I need a room, Tom," she said quickly.

"Okay...Room eleven is available. Here's the key," he said, handing it over.

Ginny hauled her bag up the stairs and walked into room eleven remembering that was where Harry stayed in his third year. She closed the door and backed against it, crouching down. She could hear the traffic from the Charing Cross Road and the crowd in Diagon Alley. She opened her bag quietly and looked at one of the few things she owned that mattered to her. Staring up at her was the picture of her and Harry.

* * *

"What do you mean she isn't here?" Harry asked worriedly. 

"I haven't seen her all week, dear," Mrs. Weasley smiled. "Is something the matter?"

"Ummm...No. She just said that she would be coming over here tonight and I needed to talk to her is all," Harry answered quietly.

"Oh, well, if I see her before you do I'll tell her," she said. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Yes," Harry lied, smiling. He felt guilty taking food from them at that moment.

"Alright. Take care of yourself and come and see us again soon," Mrs. Weasley said right before giving him a big hug.

"I will," he said as he pulled out of her grasp.

Harry apparated back to his flat thinking only of Ginny. He looked around quietly and saw nothing out of place. For a moment, his heart soared. As he walked into the bedroom and saw the top of the dresser cleared and part of the closet's contents missing, reality struck him. He felt suddenly deflated and all alone. She had left him just like she said she would. Sitting on the bed, he thought of all the ways he could get her back.

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_Author's Note: REVIEW!_


	3. Heed My Warning

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you may read about or watch in the books or movies. I am but a simple fanfiction writer and nothing more. No profit in it for me._

_Author's Note: No way in this story is Mr. Malfoy going to be the hero. I don't see him that way. This is going to be a Ginny/Draco fic, though, just for clarification. Another nice long chapter with slight writer's block, but I believe it flows nicely. Make sure you REVIEW! They keep me chugging along._

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The next morning Ginny woke up to sunlight streaming through the curtains. Sitting up precariously, she yawned and stretched her arms above her head. She blinked several times as her eyes began to adjust to the light. All of the memories of last night came flooding back to her as she remembered where she was. "Bloody hell! What a way to start off your day," she muttered to herself as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and strutted over to the bathroom. 

She took a quick shower and did all her morning rituals as she got ready to go to work. Even after everything that had happened, she felt it would just be better to go instead of sitting around sulking. God only knew what that would do to her sanity.

She quickly brushed her hair and hobbled down the stairs as fast as she could. She was already running late as it was. Ginny ran through the lines of tables and up to the fireplace ready to floo out when Tom called her.

"Miss Weasley, I have a note for you," he said, holding up a folded scrap of parchment.

Ginny sighed and made her way to the barkeep. Her mind was racing as the thought of a letter from Harry crept into her head. What would he say? If it was anything like last night, she didn't know if she could bear it. "Thanks, Tom," she smiled as she took the note from him. She stuffed in her pocket and went back to the fireplace. Grabbing a handful of floo powder, she was off.

* * *

Ginny came out of the one of the gilded fireplaces along the left wall in the Atrium as several other wizards and witches slid out less than gracefully. She ran down the dark wood floored hall in the direction of the golden gates to be checked in. Sure enough, Eric Munch was waiting for her. He smiled faintly and she noticed his eyes flick over her disheveled appearance in a quick appraisal. 

"Good morning, Ginevra," he said flatly. He scratched his stubby and badly-shaven chin as he took her you please be quick? I'm...er...already late as it is," she stated quickly.

He was weighing her wand already and merely grunted to acknowledge that he had heard her. A couple seconds later, he came back with her wand and ushered her off.

Ginny skidded down the polished floors and down to the lifts. For some odd reason, she felt the urge to make her way down to the second floor and see Harry, but she knew she couldn't. She had broken up with him and she was already late for work as it was. What would he say when he saw her? 'Found another bloke yet?' she thought bitterly back to his words. He was such a mean person. How could she have ever stayed with him that long? She was a stupid love-stricken girl was how. She had been completely oblivious to even her own feelings.

Ginny got to the lifts and entered one. When she got to level four, the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, she exited briskly and made her way to her desk. She worked in the Spirit Division. Literally a ghostly and depressing place it was. Ginny found a file on her desk labeled with a big red 'Complaints.' Sighing, she started to sort through them. That is, until her supervisor found her.

"Why are you late this time, Weasley?" Amos Diggory spat unkindly. Saliva from that statement stuck in his scruffy brown beard in a way that made Ginny wince. He grinned in an evil fashion, however, thinking that he had intimidated her in one way or another. He hated Ginny because of her relationship with Harry. Amos still blamed him for his son's death.

Ginny pondered quickly how she should answer as she stared at his beard. Honesty might do her well in this situation, but she'd rather not have her personal details floating around. She could make up a really lame excuse, which he usually dismissed because of her dramatic nature, but he knew her parents and might check if her grandmother did really die. What to do? The latter, but make it a Jarvey. Tears leapt into her eyes and she stared up at him and sniffed sadly. "My...my...my Jarvey died t-t-this morning!" she wailed.

Amos stared at her hard, but she sat unflinching. "Is that why Potter came in here so worried about you?" the older man asked in a grudging voice.

Ginny looked up at him startled. Harry never came by unless it was really important. He was always uncomfortable with Amos. He must have felt bad...which he should. Ginny came back to reality and continued with her act. She nodded grimly and went into another fit of tears. "He-he was such a good pet! He talked my ear off, but I loved the little guy! He u-used to chase the little gnomes around the yard in front of my flat and-"

"Okay! I don't want its life story! Just don't be late again," he declared in a snarl. He turned around and began to walk away until Ginny stopped him.

"My Jarvey was a he, not an it!" she said loudly. Amos just muttered under his breath as he continued to walk away.

Ginny chuckled to herself and turned back to her work. Opening the complaints folder, she saw that Sir Patrick Delany-Podmore had once again entered someone's private property for his headless hunt. 'What a nuisance,' she thought and turned to the next complaint. Boring, that's what they all were. Her job was almost pointless.

The "has-beens" as ghosts liked to call themselves rarely did too much damage. She would have rather worked anywhere else in her department, but unfortunately she didn't have as many connections as some of the other people did. Luckily, her father was at least able to secure her this position because of Amos. Who knew that her one link would be so irritating?

Just as she was sifting through a complaint about ghostly nuns, a thought struck her. Harry had come to her department. What if he came back? She couldn't face him. The very thought made her hair stand on end. She considered taking her work back to the Leaky Cauldron, but she didn't want to be stuck there alone all day either. She would just have to stay and face him.

She got to work and quickly lost track of time as she was engrossed in it. Before she knew it, it was lunchtime. Standing up, she stretched languidly.

"Ginny!" someone called. She turned around to see her friend, Luna Lovegood smiling at her with her wand stuck behind her ear. The two of them worked right across from each other, but Ginny had been so busy that morning that she hadn't noticed her.

"Hi, Luna!" Ginny smiled genuinely at her. The two locked arms and headed off to the Atrium to floo out to lunch like they normally did.

"You were really quiet this morning, Ginny. Has the news about the winged flesh-eating doormats gotten you down?" Luna asked as they entered one of the lifts.

"Ummm...No. Did the Quibbler do a piece on that?" Ginny asked, trying desperately to turn the flow of conversation.

"Oh, yes. The article says that if we don't band together and rid the world of them now, it's only a matter of time before they devour us all!" Luna unexpectedly through her arms in the air and sighed loudly in exasperation.

The lift got to the eighth level and the two of them scurried off towards the fireplaces on their left, but not before Ginny heard her name. Turning around slowly, she saw none other than Harry standing there. 'Almost escaped,' she thought grudgingly.

"Ginny, we need to talk," Harry said. He had walked right up to her and was less than a foot from her.

"I don't know why," Ginny stated resolutely. She stared him straight in the eye and crossed her arms. She would not forgive him. Not easily anyway.

"Ginny, don't be like this," Harry pleaded quietly. He didn't want Luna to hear, but not that it mattered considering she was watching the ceiling.

"I'm not being any way, Harry. I found myself another bloke who will listen to my blubbering, though," Ginny shot back.

"I didn't mean that," he said slowly, looking at his feet.

"Well, I meant what I said," she said and turned quickly. She grabbed Luna by the arm and pulled her along. Both were gone in a matter of seconds.

"I just should have apologized," Harry murmured to himself and walked back to the lifts with his shoulders sagging in defeat.

* * *

Ginny and Luna walked into the Three Broomsticks to see the place bustling with activity. They found a small table in a corner of the room and both ordered a butterbeer and different sandwiches. Ginny really was craving another firewhiskey, but she knew that would really raise some red flags for Luna. 

The two talked about work and Dumbledore's Army until Ginny had to make a trip to the bathroom. She excused herself and stumbled to the back of the room.

When she got in there, she suddenly remembered something. She shoved her hand into her pocket and pulled out the note Tom had given her before she had left that morning. She opened up the note and scanned it quickly.

_Weaslette,_

_That was not a smart move on your part. Malfoys always get theirs in the end. I wouldn't go back to the Leaky Cauldron if I were you._

_Malfoy xxx_

"What an arrogant prat," she muttered to herself and entered a stall. 'But what if he's serious?' she thought suddenly. 'Or does he want me to go back there? Reverse psychology? He is a Death Eater...'

Ginny left the bathroom in a flurry and rushed back to her table. The food had just come. "I have to go check on some things, Luna. I'm sorry, but I have to go. Can you cover for me at work?" she asked in a worried voice.

"Of course," Luna said calmly. She could tell that something was wrong with Ginny just by her twitchiness. She wondered silently if it had anything to do with her encounter with Harry. Over time, she had noticed their closeness fading. She could tell that Ginny hadn't come to terms with it, though. Luna perceived a lot more than the people around her gave her credit for.

"Thanks so much," Ginny said quickly before heading out the door. A second later, she ran back and threw some money on the table for her meal and bolted back outside.

* * *

Minutes later found her in the Leaky Cauldron, heading straight for the bar. "Has anyone been here for me, Tom?" Ginny asked in a shaky voice that was not her own. 

"No. Why?" the kind man answered.

"Just wondering," she murmured sheepishly. She still wasn't convinced that Malfoy hadn't pulled something.

Ginny headed up the stairs to her left and walked up to room eleven. She stood timidly in front of the door and put her ear to it. She heard no noise, but was sure that something was waiting for her. Putting her hand to the knob, she began to turn it when a thought struck her. She locked the door when she'd left that morning. Something or someone had been inside. Never one to let her fears get the best of her, Ginny opened the door with her head held high and marched inside.

The room was no different than she had left it. The bed sheets were balled up and her towel from her shower was lying out on the floor. Clothes were scattered about and her trunk lay open just as she had left it. However, there was one thing out of place. A note was sitting on the top of her sheets. She walked over and picked it up, noticing the same neat print from the last note.

_Weaslette,_

_You don't surprise me one bit if you're reading this. You and your whole family are really stubborn when it comes to respecting the warnings of others. Scarhead didn't look too happy when I passed him in the Ministry this morning. Hope that you didn't let him down too hard. I could sense a falling out would be coming shortly. Have a nice day._

_Malfoy xxx_

"I could sense a falling out would be coming shortly," Ginny reread aloud.

'Has he been spying on us? If so, how long? Gods, how could we not have noticed? I'd better find that stupid Ferret before he tells too much,' Ginny thought quickly. She scribbled a quick note that she knew he would have to answer and got ready to send it to the post office.

"I'll figure him out if it's the last thing I do," she declared proudly while heading back to the fireplace downstairs.


End file.
